


Voices

by KukkiisArt



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-02-25 11:21:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2619926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KukkiisArt/pseuds/KukkiisArt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story about how Leslie sees the world and people around him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Kind and the Mad

_"Subject feels as I do._

_But this vessel is far too weak to withstand_

_the psychological weight_

_I myself bear daily."_

_-Ruvik_

 

* * *

 

Rain. Its' sound is heavy. Hitting the broken windows. Noisy. So Noisy. But there are more noises, I hear. So many noises. The Madmen groaning outside the Metal door, their Fists and Nails beating and scratching the Metal. Pounding. Loud. So Loud. The cold Floor beneath my naked feet is shaking.The whole World is moving. Stone is cracking, falling, bursting. Deafening. Ear-splitting. I cover my Ears with my shaking, scarred hands. Make it stop. Make the noises stop. There is a storm inside my head. It hurts. Please. Make it go away. My feet start running by themselves. I can't stop. I need to get away. There is another noise now. Coming from deep within my lungs. Vibrating in my throat. Screaming. Trying to overpower the other noises.

> _“HELP! HELP! HELP!”_

A plea. I repeat the word again and again. The commotion in my head makes me dizzy. My world is spinning. My feet are running. My voice is screaming. Glass is bursting. The shards dig into my naked feet. It hurts. My head. My Feet.

> _And then... it stops. “LESLIE?!”_

It's him. The kind one. The one who keeps calling my name. Over and over. He doesn't hurt me. He protects me. I stand still. Hunched over. Holding my own hands in front of my chest. He runs over to me. All I can hear is his voice. His kind, kind voice. I do not understand the emotions in his voice. I don't understand the emotions of people very well in the first place. I learned what -Angry- means, during my stay at the Hospital with Dr. Jimenez. Angry is loud and scary. It hurts my ears and my head. My body cramps. I also learned the appropriate reaction to Angry is Scared. Lower your head, start trembling, hunch over, feel really really uncomfortable, but stop your feet from running away. If you start running Angry gets worse. If you don't run Angry gets less. I also learned the what Happy means. It feels light and ticklish. It is what you feel when you think about your family, awaiting your return. It is also what I feel hearing Sebastian calling out for me. And that's how I know that he won't harm me. When I feel happy, it means that I don't have to be scared.

> _“Leslie, are you alright?”_
> 
> _“Alright... alright..”_

I move my body weight from one foot to the other and back. It feels wet. What does Alright mean? Only now I realize that I'm moving again. Or is the world moving around me? I look down to my feet. They are walking. They make red footsteps. I look up to my hands. They're holding onto Sebastian's sleeve. Ah, I understand. He's leading me. I don't have to be scared of the noises anymore. I can follow Sebastian. He'll protect me. My chest feels ticklish. Am I happy? Sebastian's voice is talking. I like the sound of his voice. It makes the noises and the pain in my head go away. Even the pain in my feet is less present now. As we walk, the world changes. I look at the floor, my hands, his broad back. My head feels light and empty. The worlds calamity can't reach inside my ears anymore. Not as long as my fingers are tied into his sleeve.

> _“Ruvik!”_

And my world comes to a stop once more. Ruvik. He is the bad man. The mad man. I feel my shoulders trembling again. My weight moving from one foot to another and back. Whimpering quietly. My scarred fingers dig into the dirty fabric of Sebastian's sleeve. Scared. That's how I feel. I learned it. I know it. But feeling scared without anyone being angry is weird. Why do I feel scared, when Ruvik is never angry? His voice isn't loud. I look up. My eyes unfocussed, searching for HIM. He hovers in front of us. Not far away. Like a mirage. Everything about him makes my body cramp and tremble. I want to run away. My legs feel restless. But I can't let go of Sebastian's sleeve.

> _“Go away... go away... “_

I hear my own voice muttering, whimpering, quietly.

> _“Give him to me.”_

his voice isn't loud. It's calm. Calm. Why am I scared.

> _“What do you want with him, Ruvik!?”_

All I know seems wrong. All I know is twisted and confused. Why is Ruvik different? Am I misjudging him? Or my own feelings? My trembling fingers slowly let go of Sebastian's sleeve. Maybe I'm trembling for another reason. Maybe it isn't that I'm scared. Scared is the reaction to Angry. But the angry, loud one, right now is Sebastian. My head hurts. Sebastian is the kind one. I'm happy when I hear him calling out for me. But right now he's angry. He's shouting. Pointing a gun at Ruvik. Am I scared of him? Of Sebastian? I step back. Covering my ears with my hands again. The noises came back. They stream into my head from every direction. Loud. Shrieking, bursting, pounding, groaning, calamity. It hurts. I can't hear Sebastian's voice anymore. My eyes are burning and the world around me is blurry. I feel something cold touching my cheek. I raise my head. My eyes meet with Ruvik's. The shrieking in my head gets louder. A warm thick liquid is pouring out of my nose, running over my shaking lips, dripping into my mouth, leaving a metallic taste on my tongue.

> _“You're mine...”_

His voice is omnipresent. It vibrates. Comes from every side and from the inside of my head. In the far off distance I hear Sebastian shouting my name. But it is quickly overshadowed by the shrieking noise and the pulsing heavy sound of Ruvik's words in my head.

> _“... to do with as I please.”_

The tension leaves my body. Hot liquid pours out of my blurry eyes, down my cheeks. The whole world seems to be Ruvik's eyes right now. There is nothing else. I can't turn my head away. I can't look down. The hot liquid drips onto my chest and soaks into the fabric. It won't stop.

> _“Mad man.... mad man...”_

muttering quietly. Almost soundless. Ruvik's lips turn into a smile.

> _“I've been called that before. I don't care what you think of me.”_
> 
> _“Think of me... think of me...”_
> 
> _”You're the only one compatible with me. I wonder why.”_
> 
> _“Compatible...compatible... **”** _

His face is so close. His hand still on my cheek. The world contracts and expands around us like a beating heart. The floor beneath my feet vanishes. I'm floating. Like a feather. The liquid drops falling from my face fall eternally into the abyss below. His face is so close to mine. I blink, and another droplet falls down from my face. I can see clearer now. I'm not in pain anymore. I feel less scared. My body stopped trembling. I feel so light, floating over an abyss. It's a curious feeling. I can't comprehend or name it. But it is different from being scared or happy. I watch my own fingers touching Ruvik's cheek. There's a scar. I have scars too. They appeared after I got hurt. I got hurt a lot. Hurt and Pain are also feelings I learned in the hospital. When someone tells me what to do, and I don't do it, I get hurt. Being hurt sometimes leaves a scar. Ruvik has been hurt a lot. He is covered in big scars. He quietly watches me touching his scarred cheek.

> _“Hurt.... hurt....”_

I mutter to myself. He grabs my wrist and pulls up my hand. His grip is strong. The pressure on my wrist makes my fingers go numb.

> _“Hurt...hurt...”_

I keep repeating. My voice sounds panicked now.

> _“Quiet now.”_

He says. His voice is resounding in my ears. The world around us turns white. I know this room. It takes me barely a split second to recognize where we are. It is the painful room. The white room. The room full of cables and bathtubs. I unconsciously start to whimper and tremble again.

> _“No....no....Let go of me... let go of me.”_

I'm trying to wriggle my arm out of his tight grip. He pushes me against the machine effortlessly. His mad, bright eyes are fixed on my face and his scarred hand covers my mouth.

> _“Aren't you just an ordinary lunatic? What makes you special? Why is your unstable mind the only one that can survive being linked to mine?”_
> 
> _“Mphh~”_

My voice gets lost in his hand.

> _“What would I give to cut your little head open... to see what it is about your brain that makes you special.”_
> 
> _“Mh!...Mhh.”_

Once more my sight turns blurry and a hot liquid streams down my face, over his fingers, down my neck. A deep heavy pounding sounds from my chest through my veins up my throat into my brain. It's pounding, pulsating, hot. I never felt like this before. Whenever I met Ruvik before I felt heavy and sleepy. So heavy and sleepy that I was unable to move my body. But now I'm not sleepy. I'm wide awake and the things I'm feeling are new to me. Ruvik's gaze changes.

> _“Interesting.”_

He says quietly.

> _“I can't tell if you're scared or aroused.”_

Aroused, that's another new word. I don't know what it means but while I'm thinking about it my lips repeat the word endlessly.

> _“Aroused... aroused... aroused.”_

Ruvik chuckles.

> _“Curious little Rabbit. Well we still have some time until your savior comes to play.”_
> 
> _“Play... play...”_
> 
> _“I wonder if you're just mindlessly repeating my words, or if you're trying to urge me on... uh.”_

His sentence breaks off. I flinch. I didn't notice my hand went back to his cheek. Did that make him stop talking? Why. He looks at me with an expression I can't comprehend.

> _“Hurt...”_

I hear myself mutter.

> _“Leslie was hurt...too.”_

My voice is quiet and it shakes softly. Ruvik keeps watching me with his weird expression.

> _“Yes. And you will get hurt even more because no one cares about a petty Nutcase such as yourself.”_

I don't know what his words mean. But I can't think about it now. His rough fingers are running down my neck, and close tight around it.

> _“Gh- uh...”_
> 
> _“You aren't even going to struggle, hm?”_
> 
> _“Hck- “_

He lets go of my neck and I take a deep breath. Ruvik's hand is stroking my skin again. It tickles and his fingers are warm. I don't think I've ever been touched that softly. I got used to being touched by nurses at the Asylum. They washed me and forced me into clothes, but they were always rough. They did a lot of things I didn't like. Sticking needles into my skin. Touching me with weird cold metal tools and rubber gloves. I got used to it but it never felt nice. Ruvik watches my face. Studying me. His fingers trace up my neck again. My whole body tickles and a shiver runs down my spine.

> _“Nh...”_

A little noise escapes my lips. Unconsciously. Ruvik suddenly grabs my shoulder and turns me around. I'm forced to look at the machine now. The machine I hate so much. It hurts. Every memory with this machine is painful. But before panic takes over my body again, something soft and hot touches the nape of my neck. I flinch. It's wet. I can feel his big warm body behind mine. Another shiver runs down my spine and up into my head. I close my eyes. I don't want to look at the machine. As darkness embraces me I can feel his breath on my skin. His tongue crawling up my neck, his teeth scraping my wet skin softly. Shiver after shiver runs through my body. Through my arms, down my back, up into my brain. I feel my lungs contract and my parted lips let more and more little breaths escape. They are in sync with the shivers running through my body. The feeling is so new and I can't tell why I feel like this. My face feels hot and I feel the urge to hold onto something. I can feel the cold metal tubes of the machine under my fingers. I grip them tightly. Ruvik runs his warm rough hands under my straightjacket. The feeling of his rough scarred skin on my own is weird. I feel restless. My knees are weak. His fingers barely touch me. They stroke my skin so lightly it feels weird. My waist, my ribs, my belly. They touch them so softly it makes my body jolt and tremble at every touch.

> _“Nh...h...”_
> 
> _“You're a healthy 25 years old man after all. At least your body is.”_

The words he speaks make no sense to me, and they have no meaning whatsoever. But his lips touching my ear while speaking make my body turn hot and cold. His deep, raspy voice, echoes inside my head and another weird noise escapes my lips. It doesn't hurt, it's not painful, I'm ticklish and my heart is thumping fast. Does that mean I'm happy. But why am I shivering and trembling then, why do I feel hot? Is this not happiness but a different feeling? Aroused. A violent electrical current beats through my body as Ruvik suddenly grabs my crotch.

> _“Ah!”_

My head jolts back. My knees buckle. If my fingers weren't closed so tightly around the machine's tubes I'd have fallen. My eyes are still shut tight and I hear Ruviks chuckle right by my ear.

> _“Noone ever did that to you. Prossibly not even yourself. It sure makes you docile. Just a few minutes ago you were still scared.”_
> 
> _“Scared~nh....scared....h...”_

My voice sounds hoarse and not at all like my own. His hand slides into my pants. My body is so hot I want to run away. I don't understand what's happening to me.

> _“Help.... hel....p~h...hh”_

I moan softly. I want it to stop and at the same time I want it to last forever. I don't understand how I feel. I feel Ruvik's lips brushing against my neck and then he suddenly bites me.

> _“Ah!”_

He slowly pulls down my pants, holding my weak body up with one arm. Normally I'd feel cold without my pants on, in a cold room like this one, but his hot body pressing against my back makes me feel warm. Warm enough to make me want to take off the rest of my clothes too. I don't like these clothes. I let go of one of the tubes and pull on my straightjacket. Ruvik chuckles once more.

> _“You never fail to surprise me. Let's see to what extend you are compatible with me.”_

He mutters against my skin.

 

* * *

 

tbc.


	2. Voices

His hands are hot, like fire, they burn every inch of my skin they touch. Over my hips, my sides, my ribs, my chest, and back down.I wonder if his touch will leave my skin as burned and scarred as his own. His touch hurts. But it isn't the pain that I know. It's not my skin that hurts, it's something deep inside my chest. Pulsating, hot, it hurts and itches.

> "Nhh… ah"
> 
> "As expected you're sensitive."

Suddenly I'm floating again. Ah, no. It's different from before. He's holding me. He's carrying me. I'm not floating. My fingers let go of the machines tubes by themselves but my eyes stay closed. He lays me down on a cold, hard surface. I feel my body cramp and goosebumps cover my skin, it's cold. I wonder if my heated body will warm up the surface beneath, or will it cool me down instead? And then, his hands are back, rough and warm but there is another sensation. I felt it before. His tongue. It's creeping over my chest slowly. I flinch unconsciously. Small electric currents are shooting through my veins and my body quickly heats up again. I hide my bruning hot face in the fabric of my, pushed up, straightjacket. An entirely new feeling fills my body. It's hot, and at the same time I want to run away. I don't want him to touch me, but at the same time I crave more. My hands raise to push him away but instead they just end up clinging to his back, pulling the dirty fabric of his cloak. Small sounds are escaping my throat. They don't at all sound like my own voice. They are neither stuttered words, nor screams. They are sweet and soft, my voice is higher than it used to be.

> "Uhn...hh...hn..."
> 
> "I wonder if you'd fight back, if you knew what I'm about to do to you."
> 
> "Do...to you....do to you...hh..."

His voice didn't change, did it? It's still as deep and calm as always, a little raspy, and somehow powerful. Why does, hearing him speak, throw my head into utter chaos now? My world is spinning behind my closed eyes, I feel like falling while I'm laying on a sturdy surface, I feel like I'm burning while I'm half naked in a cold room. The room around us is silent. Not a single sound is echoing through the place, other than the ones spilling from my own, trembling lips. I flinch in surprise as something else touches my lips and my moans are muffled. It's not a hand. It's not the fabric of my straightjacket either. It's rough and soft at the same time. I finally open my eyes, just a bit. Ruvik's face is close to mine. Closer than ever before. His lips are touching mine. His body is hovering over me, my arms clinging tightly to his broad back. The feeling of his breath on my skin, his warm skin, his scent, all that confuses me. He smells of disinfectant and something else that I don't know. His tongue makes its way into my mouth, although it feels foreign and strange, I don't resist.

Once again I ask myself why I'm not scared of him. Wasn't I running from him? Wasn't I going to search for Sebastians protection? Then why are my hands so willingly clinging to him now? And why is my heart racing with joy as our tongues touch for the first time. My eyes close by themselves. I shiver. Flinch. Every nerve cell in my body seems to be linked to my tongue. I feel his kiss through my entire body. That is also why I don't instantly notice his hand that has made it's way to my rear. Only when his finger enters my body, my concentration shifts. Once more I don't know what I feel. Does it hurt? Or is it pleasant? Am I scared? Or happy? Out of sheer and utter confusion my eyes start burning and once more a hot liquid is flowing down my face. Ruvik catches the drops with his fingers.

> "Are you already crying?"
> 
> "Crying... cry...AH!"

I jolt so hard that the back of my head hits the surface I'm laying on. It hurts but I don't even register it. Another feeling is taking all my attention. Ruvik had touched a place inside me that sets free the most indescribable feelings in my trembling body. I'm hot, I'm cold, I want to cry, to run, to cling to him, to pull him closer, to feel it again. Without me saying a single word he grants my silent wish and his finger starts rubbing that spot inside me. I quake and tremble. The sounds spilling from my parted lips have become louder and raspy. My fingers dig deeply into the fabric of his Cloak. I don't even notice him adding more fingers into me. An intense hot feeling is building in my body. Pooling in my groin. I can't describe it. I panic.

> "AH NO... NO! HELP!"

I cry out, my voice trembling and dripping with feelings I can't name. I cling to him. I feel like I'll burst, but just then he pulls his fingers out of me. The intense feeling fades, leaving me hungry for more. Breathing is hard. My lungs feel so heavy. I look up to the scarred man hovering over me.

> "Mh... no... no..."

I shake my head. I don't want him to stop, I don't want him to continue. Why do I feel so conflicted? He makes a sound that reminds me of laughing, but it's short, so I don't know what to call it. My hands slide from his back as he sits up. He grabs my legs while I'm watching him quietly. I see my chest raising and lowering quickly. Is my breath really that fast? I hear my own heart beating in my head, it makes me feel dizzy. He sits between my spreaded legs, looking at me. Then I feel something different. I flinch and look down to where the foreign feeling is coming from. I see Ruvik's manhood slowly pushing into my body the pain takes me completely off guard. I don't understand what he is doing to me or why. My head jolts backwards as I cry out. I feel the fat foreign object sliding into me. It pries me open forcefully. Yet it's not the pain alone I feel. There is this other feeling. This indiscribable feeling. Boiling hot. My eyes are overflowing with tear as I look up to Ruvik. He's so close.

> "Nh... no.... no..."
> 
> "You don't really mean 'No', do you? You're clinging to me."

I don't understand what he's saying. My own heartbeat is too loud. I feel him moving inside of me. Slowly. With every movement it starts to feel better and better until the pain disappears completely and just the hot lingering feeling stays. It consumes me. I don't even recognize the voice anymore that is leaking from my lips now. It's loud. I'm dizzy. So dizzy. The world is spinning around us. I can't escape. Every time he moves inside of me he touches that spot inside of me. The world around me goes black, and then white again. All I can do is cling to him. I hear nothing but my own heartbeat now. It's so loud. Pounding so loud. So loud. And there is this particular feeling again. It feels like I'll burst. It makes me cry, but I'm not sad or scared. I cry because there is no outlet for all those emotions. I cling tighter to Ruvik's Coat, looking at him. It feels like the only thing that'll save me from falling now. Clinging to him. Looking at him. I want him to be closer.

> "Ruvik...ah... Ruvik!"

I want to tell him. I will burst. I feel like I'm dying, even though I don't know what dying feels like. And then I die. My world turns blank. My head is numb, my heart skips a beat or two, and all the emotions gathered, burst out from my body's center. I can barely breathe. But I still hear my heartbeat. So I didn't die after all? If this is what dying feels like I want to die again. So many more times. I open my wet eyes. My head turned to the side. I see Sebastian standing in the doorway. He stares at Ruvik and me with an expression I don't know. Is he angry? Or something else. My world turns black again. I feel my consciousness fade. If I don't die now, I want him to kill me again. Him. The mad man. The scarred man I feared so much. I don't fear him anymore. And as my world disappears into darkness, I can hear something in the distance.

Voices.

 

-The End-


End file.
